Truth

It's true the observation

To the right holds the tears

To the left holds the happiness

Showing testament to it
Shows the truth in its statement

Wallowing in self-consolation

Visions - Bring me the horizon

I didn't realise the true poetry of this song until now. It's amazing.

________________

This is a call to arms, so grab your guns and get your horses.
Only the dead have seen the end of this fight.
This is a call to arms, so all you fallen soldiers sing with me: death or glory.

So march with me if you believe there's any hope for us.
I've been hiding in these trenches for far too long.
All is fair in love and war, so they tell me.
All is fair in love and war, so they say.

Come on, come on, there has to be a better way.
Get up, get up, let's leave this mess.
I know a place that we can get away from all of this.
Come on come on, get up get up.

I've been dreaming of us leaving everything and everyone we've ever known.
I've been thinking all these visions must be a sign, so hold on and don't let go.
No, we can't leave till you tell me everything.
So come clean, don't talk in tongues. Talk in tongues.
It's time to bring out your dead.
And the skeletons that you've been hiding.
Tell me everything I need to know.
Bring out your dead. [2x]

So march with me if you believe there's any hope for us.
I've been hiding in these trenches for far too long.
All is fair in love and war, so they tell me.
All is fair in love and war, so they say.

Come on come on, get up get up.
I know a place that we can get away from all of this.
Yeah.

[2x]
I couldn't see a thing till I shut my eyes.
I never knew a thing till I lost my mind.
I would sell my soul to know it all, but I held the keys all this time.

[2x]
I've been dreaming of us leaving everything and everyone we've ever known.
I've been thinking all these visions must be a sign, so hold on and don't let go.

Bring out your dead. [3x]

Unending continuation #3

He stared outside into the beautiful moonlight

With no hint of artificiality in sight

Only the bliss of the atmosphere lingered in his mind

His eyes were brightly awake, finding the silence inside

We go back in time, triggers galore

We go back in time, a reminder of

We go back in time, he starts to remember

We go back in time, he wants to forget this forever

Untitled

A surge, a rush

One that previously was associated

With guilt, with regret, with pain

To bring myself, to once again

Enter that world, has confused me

Thinking once again

Placing my insecurities aside

Once again

To face it

And see the light at the end

Unending continuation #2

An exchange of knowledge happened

Which never happened before

A 180 turn around from the very beginning

Then another which leaves myself distraught

Actions unspoken, words meaningless

Enduring bouts of masochism

Before the bracing of impact,

As i'm free falling, I feel as if i'm living

Self-Conclusion - The Spill Canvas

Love this song.

___________________

Fade in, start the scene

Enter beautiful girl

But things are not what they seem

As we stand at the edge of the world

"Excuse me, sir,

But I have plans to die tonight

Oh, and you are directly in my way

And I bet you're gonna say it's not right"

My reply:

"Excuse me, miss

But do you have the slightest clue

Of exactly what you just said to me

And exactly who you're talking to?"

She said, "I don't care, you don't even know me"

I said, "I know but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully"

Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion

Of self conclusion in one simplified motion

You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it

No matter how unbearable this misery gets

"You make it sound so easy to be alive

But tell me, how am I supposed to seize this day

When everything inside me has died?"

My reply:

"Trust me, girl

I know your legs are pleading to leap

But I offer you this easy choice-

Instead of dying, living with me"

She said, "Are you crazy? You don't even know me. "

I said, "I know, but I'd like to change that soon hopefully"

Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion

Of self conclusion in one simplified motion

You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it

No matter how unbearable this misery gets

I would be lying if I said that things would never get rough

And all this cliche motivation, it could never be enough

I could stand here all night trying to convince you

But what good would that do?

My offer stands, and you must choose

"All right, you win, but I only give you one night

To prove yourself to be better than my attempt at flight

I swear to god if you hurt me I will leap

I will toss myself from these very cliffs

And you'll never see it coming"

"Settle, precious, I know what you're going through

Just ten minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too"

Yeah we all flirt with the tiniest notion

Of self conclusion in one simplified motion

You see the trick is that you're never supposed act on it

No matter how unbearable this misery gets

Unending continuation #1

From the day dot, a call was made

Negative four, under the starry night

Glanced up at the gigantic structures

Thoughts corroding my head while I close my eyes

Fast forward, a call was made

Positive unknown, under the starry night

Glanced at the exquisite scenery

Thoughts burning my head while parts of me die

Day

Exquisite places, lovely atmospheres

Dreaming one day, just one day

Surprises, improvisation

Dreaming one day, just one day

Cushion

Clasping the cushion

Falling into a shallow sleep

Trapped somewhere between awake and sleep

Insomnia while the subconscious is still awake

Schism

Immolation, masochism

Secretly we're all one

Self infliction, ensuing schism

One day shall be enough

S

The best words are excreted from my mouth

In a manner like this, in a state like this

Triumphing all over everything

Wallowing in non existent bliss

"One more nail in the coffin
One more foot in the grave
One last time i'm on my knees

As I try to walk away"

Sometimes trekking through the cold

Can never be consoled by a warm cup of tea

Developing immense hypothermia

While feeling a burning sensation inside me

Watching it all melt and decay

From the inside and the out

Telling me to stop walking

While the words cannot escape my mouth

The freezing moon diminishes my capacity to think

While the blistering heat erases any logical thought

The humidity leaving my body content

Confused always, my mind raught

"We all have our horrors and our demons to fight

But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?

They crawl up on my bed, wrap their fingers 'round my throat

Is this what I get for the choices that I made?"

Insert the camera inside the cranium

Monitor the impulses, ensuing an aneurysm

It's haunting, entirely haunting

Petruding my soul with guilt

I'm screaming from the inside

Quiet outside

My voice yells the loudness of a thousand nails on a blackboard

Nevermind

Self conclusion, as there always needs to be an end

Mending every little cut and bruise, as I tend

To move forward and forward, while leaving no

real conclusion, as the poem keeps on flowing

and flowing, and flowing, and flowing

until the very end

ATAR

To define myself via a number
is horse excrement

Yet i'm ecstatic

Couldn't be happier

Thought Police

Thought police entering my brain

Siezing my thoughts, leaving me in a prison

So much guilt, So much guilt.

Light

Light is ever beaming through

To be delayed later and later

Prolonging the vibrant Sun

Infecting all being with its brightness

It feels infectious

Light ever gleaming from the sky

As it turns into night, it's still beaming

It's still gleaming

It's still bright

So very bright

Untitled

To capture the sheer intensity

Of the words spewing from my convulsing mouth

Would be impossible due to the incessant beating

Of an object called the heart

"Get the fuck up, keep going"

Is all it said.

"This time, this fucking time"

Is what was previously said

"Fuck it"

Is what it will say in the future

As the words tremble from my lips

The feelings are mumbled

As the teeth are grinding onto one another

Ever knowing, ever seeing

Untitled

This talk of it reeks of horrible memories

The time spent, the amount of hours

They go on and on, ever afraid to fall back

Because a repeat may happen

How can I resist the colourful environment

The lush landscape, the vibrant characters

Yet a shadow of despair casts itself over it all

Inducing a bout of nostalgia and regret

This Bitter Pill

I've been completely and utterly addicted to this song for the past day. I don't know. It speaks volumes.

This Bitter Pill - Dashboard Confessional

______________

Walking away

It's not the same as running

Is it to you now that you've run in this ground

And you say take this

This medicine is just what you deserve

Swallow, choke, and die

And this bitter pill is leaving you

With such an angry mouth

One that's void of all discretion

Such an awful tearing sound

With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare

Glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair

Is never wearing out

It's wearing off

And it's leaving you with such a heavy heart

And a head to match

The bottle is waiting

The cap is twisted begging to be used

And so are you.

And this bitter pill is leaving you

With such an angry mouth

One that's void of all discretion

Such an awful tearing sound

With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare

Glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair

Is never wearing out

Melancholy

Another old one. Sorry, i'm digging up gems all tonight.

__________

Drip by drip
The water falls from the tap
Slowly slowly
One by one

The lamp shade shakes
Rustling of the wind
Oblivious to anything around it

Rain pours from the skies
Onto my cold head
The sky is clouded
Forever grey

The street lay dead
As if nobody inhabits it
Silence roams now

Fluorescent lights
Reflect off the puddles
Portraying a picture
Distorted by rain

The cold night
Where silence roams
Street light flows
Rain Drops
Melancholy lives

Me Vs Me

Wrote this a long time ago, I was reading my collection of poems over the past few years and I struck this gem, again, not explaining, but it's a nice reminder.

___________

It's been a while
Still you're striking me subconsciously
I thought you were gone
Yet the thoughts poison my brain

Left me staring at an empty box
Just knowing i'll be pushed down to that low level again
That level where i'm not returning
That level where I turn myself to nothing.

Can't you just leave me be?
Whenever I turn a corner a thought is there
Just dangling in front of my face
You are a demon.

You found me
You took bits of me
You tore them apart
I hate you.

The day I see you
That lucky day
Even you know
That something bad will happen.

You linger in my head
You linger on this screen
You linger within this text
You linger wherever I go.

I know you're just smiling
An insult to everything
I know you're happy
While i'm not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A polar opposite occurs
I lay here in awe
Letting the warmth of my sheets
Drown me in happyness

I'm left smiling here
I'm left happy
I'm left wallowing in joy
I'm left being me

Every thought
Fills my heart with warmth
Even when my days
Are pitch black

The days that i'm left
Could be the darkest of them all
I'm left
Laying in cynicism

I've dug a hole
Inside my mind
I crawl up
and wither inside

You linger in my thoughts
You linger in my heart
You linger in my darkest hours
You linger in me

You make me smile
You make me laugh
But...
It turns out the same way.

Over
And
Over
Again.

This

This inability to understand

This incapacity to do a thing

This doubtfulness incessant in my head

Just like before

Just like before

Irony

Searching down the road

Making our way through the unbearable heat

It's a reminder of before, fighting the insecurities

Lies, a hint of questioning takes over the brain

Everything turns out fine, we hope. Feel no guilt please.
^
^
^
^
:)

Hope

Hope is all we bargain on

All we place our trust into

Despite explaining logically the thing around us

We begin to hope

Plead is what we do

When our hopes diminish

As they dwindle down

Hoping for more hope

Shock

Shock

My head lay on the pillow

As the music flowed through my ears

Sleeping still absorbing the impact

Wake to feel a sense of content

With everything

Remembering to breathe in

and breathe out

Scull

Scull scull scull

Calm calm calm

Ignore the horrid taste

Bask in the ambience

bask in the atmosphere

Bask in the mood

Bask in the anger

Bask in the frustration

Calm calm calm

Scull scull scull

Grinning

The soothing music entering my ears

Grinning at this beautiful mess created

The red wine slowly enflames the throat

Giving a smooth entering into the body

Eyes about to give in

Still grinning

Hoping for tomorrow

Still grinning