This is where I am

Surrounded by such balls of intelligence

With a tiny hint of elitist nature within

Seeps through the windows

Releasing a peculiar emotion

Within such walls, we find aspects of ourselves

We see scribbles of knowledge wherever we are

Thought-producing stimuli is everywhere

To breathe in the rich air

While my heart races

This is exactly where I am

Untitled

No matter the positive sensation,

The feeling of doubt, pervades all

It is a sneaky feeling, it creeps...

Creeps around waiting for my fall

It's almost my friend, right there.

Just laughing, smiling stealing my breaths of air

"I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they call could mean"
Who knew that every single sentence in my vocabulary would crush all of me

Well sustained breathing, the thought enters while my mouth starts to move

They come out crumbled, shattered, broken while my head just laughs

The unspoken things just rotting until the stench is smelled by my own lungs

It's a beautiful carcinogen isn't it? The very essence of being breathed and sung

Ultimately it will all lead to an inevitability, a certainty, a truth that cannot be wronged

When the only enemy is yourself, springing towards something brighter while you bring the dark passenger along

I can't.

Waiting for the magical hour to strike

So I can ingest this liquid of life

While downing the precious pills

Waiting to achieve the temporary solitude

But the core manifests itself through the organism

I can't explain

I can't fucking explain

Uncertainty summons itself taunting,

Laughing and wandering

"But it's no different"

Such harsh truth

I can't explain

I can't fucking explain

I struggle to finish this stanza

As my thoughts are laid bare

I cannot speak another word

I can't.

Dear 1x

Dear thirteen year old me

If only you could see,

You would be very proud

of me.

Dear fourteen year old me

If only you could see,

You would be very proud

of me.

Dear fifteen year old me

If only you could see

everything about me

You can prepare yourself

for what will become of

me

Dear sixteen year old me

You can see

the frustration

the impatience

You can prepare yourself

for what will become of

me

Dear seventeen year old me

You haven't learned a thing have you

It's what you're turning into

You can prepare yourself

for what will become of

me

Dear eighteen year old me

Are you proud?
Can you see?
Shifting round and round

Can't you fucking see?

What you exactly need to be?

Because you are me

What a change of scenery

While the sun shines beautifully

While the rain pours heavily

Slamming doors angrily

Insomnia induced rapidly

Curling, weeping for humanity

When really,

The problem, you see...

Begins and ends inside me